Day 42:
In the reading this week I am reminded of two things:
"Don't compare your behind the scenes to some else's highlight reel" - Someone
And–
Week 7 Goals:
Morning Pages x7
Artist Date x1
Archeology, An Exercise
Complete as many additional Exercises as possible.
Archeology, An Exercise
Complete these phrases:
As a kid I missed the chance to be a kid
As a kid I lacked friends my own age
As a kid I could have used a mentor or someone that would just listen to me
As a kid I dreamed of being a scientist
As a kid I wanted to be loved and understood
In my house we never had enough time for ourselves
As a kid I needed more positive re-enforcement
I am sorry that I will never again see a world where everything doesn’t exist in your pocket
For years I have missed and wondered about “G”, I wonder how she is doing these days
I beat myself up about the loss of my youthful energy
“It is important to acknowledge our positive inventory as well as our shortfalls. Take positive stock of what good you have to build on in the present.”
Finish these phrases:
I have a loyal friend in Nathan, mostly, or Kristin, she always sets me straight
One thing I like about my town is how close I am to just about everything I want to do
I think I have nice wit
Writing my morning pages have shown me I can change up my day to day and set new habits.
I am taking a greater interest in starting something for myself
I believe I am getting better at managing my stress and feelings
My artist has started to pay more attention to other artists and their struggles and challenges
My self-care is a big bath tub with plenty of room. I wish I had one.
I feel more calm, confident, and full of anxiety all at once.
Possibly, my creativity is wanting more from me and the world around me .
There will probably be a lot of poor excuses on this one. I was traveling all week for work and didn’t get a whole lot of time to myself to complete the tasks assigned.
Tasks:
Make this phrase a mantra “Treating myself like a precious object will make me strong” I made the effort to write this at the top of each of my morning pages, and think heavily about how I can treat myself better day to day.
Give yourself time to listen to one side of an album, just for joy. This was able to be done, except the album could have probably been more joyful. I found myself wanting to listen to The Downward Spiral a few times this week…and I did.
Take yourself to a sacred space and allow yourself to savor the silence and healing solitude. Silence is pretty hard to find in New York City. I’ll take some time next week and see what quiet places I can find.
Wear your favorite item of clothing for no special occasion. This also will probably be a next week task.
Buy yourself one wonderful pair of socks, one wonderful pair of gloves– One wonderfully comforting self-loving something. I’ve spent a lot of money on my Artist-child over the last few weeks. I think I need to slow down lest I become way more in debt than I want to.
Check In:
How many days this week did you do your morning pages? Have you allowed yourself to daydream a few creative risks? Are you coddling your artist child with childhood loves? I skipped a few days this week, 2 for sure and I did a half day one day. I was in a van a lot for work, and also on a very tight timeline most of the mornings.
I want to have more time to daydream, and I’d love to coddle my artist child more. But I’m not sure how.
Did you do your artist date this week? Did you use it to take any risks? What did you do? How did it feel? I also skipped my artist date. Which of course really sucks because I was in one of the most fantastic of cities in which to do just that.
Did you experience any synchronicity this week? What was it? None that I noticed.
Were there any other issues this week that you consider significant to your recovery? Describe them. I almost feel like I backtracked a little this week. I dove into my day job hard, and really didn’t carve out any time for me.
I feel really anxious as I am finalizing this entry, I wanted so much more out of it. I will do better in the upcoming week to try and “catch up”.